Yaffa Family Law Group
By: Doreen Yaffa

An Inspiring Message to Working Mothers

Child Custody, Child Support, Divorce, Parenting Plans
Doing It All – An Inspiring Message to Working Mothers.

When I gave birth on February 15, 2020, to my miracle twins, the sudden shift in identity that came with motherhood was both beautiful and frightening. I loved learning to support my babies and felt so connected to them that I almost couldn’t see them as separate persons. They were part of me: an extra arm, a constant thought. But I was afraid of my babies’ potential to consume me, and I struggled to maintain a separate self.

Making a choice between family and career is something that working moms around the world have to face every day. Going back to work, staying at work, or continuing on an upward career trajectory becomes difficult for some mothers who feel the need to balance it all. 

Access to maternity benefits such as leave, lactation rooms, and flexible work hours, are all helpful in giving working moms the confidence to fulfill their role in the family and continue to become successful in their careers.

Working from home during the pandemic has been an exhausting task. My body is sore as though I ran a marathon but I haven’t left the house in weeks. At any moment, I feel as though I am being pulled in multiple directions. If only I could duplicate myself or grow six extra arms. 

I spend the entire day working at my kitchen table. No time for a nap, to flip the laundry, make something healthy to eat, or exercise. The rest of my energy is spent calming the crying babies, tending to the dogs, welcoming my in-laws, and finding time to communicate and check-in with my family. 

From the outside looking in, it appears that I “have it all” because I’m “doing it all” but I wonder when I’m going to fall apart because I’m spread so thin. 

Enter my friends, family members, co-workers, colleagues, BNI members, and any other working mother, and I realize quickly that I am not alone. And neither are you. As you read this article, keep in mind that despite the facade that some may post on social media, if you feel inadequate for any reason, you shouldn’t. We are all doing the best we can with the 300 things on our plate.

When I meet with women that are debating getting a divorce, they wonder what their life will look like without a husband. How can they manage everything without the help of a second person in the household? At Yaffa Family Law Group, we understand that for our clients, divorce is more than a legal transaction. We provide emotional support as well. 

When deciding whether or not to move forward with a divorce, we recommend going through the following thought process: 

  1. What do you desire?
  2. What is the number one fear that will prevent you from taking action?
  3. Why are you doing this? (Refer to this when mental walls are in front of you.)
  4. Who else is going through this?
  5. I will get through this – What are some past experiences that show you have what it takes?
  6. What is your victory feeling? (Use past tense from when it already happened.)
    1. Foreshadow your feelings.
    2. Pretend you’re telling someone your story in the future.

 

Remember, we are in this together.

 

About the Author

Tamara-Grossman-full-size-retouched-150x150 An Inspiring Message to Working Mothers
Tamara Grossman is an attorney with eight years of courtroom experience in family law and other legal matters. Ms. Grossman has been a partner in a multistate litigation law firm and, most recently, was an attorney at a Boca Raton family law firm.