Discomfort is the Currency of Your Dreams
Last week’s Monday Message was about not letting your primitive brain keep you stuck in your cave. To reach your biggest goals and live the life you always wanted, you have to control and understand your brain and venture out of your comfort zone.
Discomfort is necessary to reach your goals. But, don’t get confused with the discomfort that is associated with beating yourself up. These are two very different types of discomfort.
One discomfort, the first one, is a good discomfort because it propels you forward and closer to your goal. This first discomfort makes you stronger, better, and more alive. It teaches you lessons so you can try again, correct the problem and propel forward.
The other discomfort associated with beating yourself up does the exact opposite. It holds you back. It keeps you stuck. And many times it moves you backwards. It serves no purpose.
Many times, my clients express feelings of managing the discomfort of getting through the divorce process. It’s not fun. In fact, it is often sad and difficult. My response to them is, “What is the alternative? To stay and tolerate and live your existence in a bad relationship?”
Whether you are in a divorce, starting a new career, learning a new sport, growing your business, or setting forth on any goal toward a better existence, if you aren’t putting yourself out there and feeling the pain, you are stuck.
Living in confusion, running around, acting busy, and indulging in negative emotion and stress is very uncomfortable. It doesn’t propel you forward and it doesn’t produce your highest level of work at the highest capacity.
The question then begs itself, how do you know if you are in discomfort that serves you or if you are in discomfort that doesn’t serve you? This is a very important question to ask of yourself, because the confusion between the two is the difference between success and failure long-term.
Short-term discomfort that serves you and is focused is always worth it.
Ask yourself:
Why am I feeling uncomfortable?
What is the reason for the discomfort?
Is this discomfort propelling me toward my goal?
Is this discomfort something that is anticipated to reach my goal?
Now, of course, the answer will always be a thought, because our thoughts always cause our feelings.
When you ask yourself, why am I experiencing discomfort, and the answer is, “Because I’m moving towards something I’m not familiar with,” “I’m trying something new,” “I’m putting myself out there,” or “I’m venturing outside of the cave,” then you know that you’re experiencing discomfort that will have a proper payoff. It will all be worth it.
My coach says that discomfort is the currency of your dreams. Set your goal, manage your mind, and move forward with massive action towards that end result and never quit.
Stay healthy in mind and body.
Doreen Yaffa
Board Certified Marital & Family Attorney, Life Coach
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Frequently Asked Questions
What should I do first if I'm considering divorce?
Before making any decisions, consult with an experienced family law attorney to understand your rights and options. You should also start gathering important financial documents and understanding the full picture of your marital assets.
How do I protect my finances during a divorce?
Start by documenting all marital and separate assets, opening individual bank accounts, reviewing your credit report, and consulting with a financial advisor. Avoid making major financial decisions without legal guidance to protect your interests.
How long does it take to emotionally recover from a divorce?
Recovery timelines vary widely. Research suggests it takes about 1–2 years on average to fully adjust to life after divorce. Working with a therapist, divorce coach, or support group can significantly accelerate the healing process.
What resources are available for people going through a divorce in Florida?
Florida has numerous resources including court self-help centers, Florida Legal Aid, licensed therapists and divorce coaches, mediation services, and experienced family law firms like Yaffa Family Law Group that offer confidential consultations.
If you're facing a family law matter in South Florida, the experienced attorneys at Yaffa Family Law Group's Divorce practice are here to help. Our team understands Florida family law and can guide you through every step. View all our practice areas or contact us today for a confidential consultation.