Yaffa Family Law Group
By: Doreen Yaffa

Learn to Let Go: How to Accept Your Divorce and Start Over


Going through a divorce can be exhausting. If you’re still in love with your spouse during a divorce, you can feel pathetic, crazy, and powerless. Yaffa Family Law Group wants to help you get through this disparaging time by showing you that you can celebrate your marriage coming to an end and move on with the next phase of your life. While it may hurt, grieving is part of the process and the only way to truly deal with a divorce.

The articles you read online about the divorce process make it seem as though it’s cheerful and orderly. The truth is: you’ll most likely find it to be chaotic, erratic, and overwhelming. This is normal during the divorce process. It’s okay to feel all of these different emotions. While it may seem like it’s getting worse, you’ll be moving towards the next stage—one where you’re unburdened by the frustrations and disappointments of your old life. 

Make sure to take your time while going through a divorce. Rushing through it can scar you in the long run. It’s better to proceed naturally through a divorce, as trying to get it over with can lead to bottling up emotions and feelings—a recipe for disaster.

Start by Celebrating

While this isn’t a time when you’re going to want to go out partying, it’s important to appreciate your marriage for what it was, and what’s to come. We want you to celebrate the marriage and understand what it was that made it so special. At one point, there was a time when you and your partner were attracted to each other and loved each other more than anything else. Celebrate what that meant to you and what it still means to you today. Think about some of these things:

  • What made you fall in love with him/her?
  • What are things that you admire about each other?
  • What did your spouse do to make you feel special?
  • What will you miss about your spouse now that they are gone?

Accept That It’s Over

Once it’s clear that the marriage is over and there’s no turning back, there are a few things that can be done to help alleviate the pain of divorce. Here are a few things you can do that will help alleviate the pain and allow you to accept your divorce and start over:

Tell Your Friends

There’s no easy way to tell friends and family that you’re getting a divorce. Avoid statements such as “we’re going through something,” or “he’ll come back.” Embrace the situation by saying “we’re getting a divorce.” Just by saying it, you’ve accepted that it’s happening. 

Your friends should be your biggest supporters, so they’ll naturally come to your side during this difficult time. Don’t be afraid to lean on them when you need them most. 

Don’t Continue to Hurt Your Spouse

You may want to hurt your spouse after what they have done. They’ve hurt you in the worst way possible, however, going after them will only make things worse for you and your spouse. Instead, allow your spouse to have their space during this time. This will give you time to clear your head and make sense of the entire situation. 

Set New Goals

With a new life ahead of you, now is the time to set new goals for yourself to achieve. These don’t have to be unrealistic goals. Simple things like waking up on time, eating breakfast, and shaving are perfect goals to set. You want the first few goals you set to be short-term and realistic. Make no mistake, though. This is a great time to experience the things you never had a chance to due to your marriage. Whether it’s traveling to exotic locations or finally owning the car of your dreams, this is the perfect time to make it happen. 

Need Help With Your Divorce?

Going through a divorce is never fun. You need the right people on your side to get the most out of this troubling experience. Yaffa Family Law Group wants to be the group that will help you through this tough time. Our team of divorce experts will help guide you in the right direction, providing sound counsel throughout your divorce. Looking for divorce help or have any other questions about the divorce process? Visit our contact page or call us at (561) 276-3880 to learn more today. If you need additional resources, listen to my latest podcast episode of Your Amazing Divorce.

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