Yaffa Family Law Group
By: Doreen Yaffa

Monday Message: June 22, 2020

Looking Forward: Building an Amazing Life
Discomfort is the Currency of Your Dreams

Last week’s Monday Message was about not letting your primitive brain keep you stuck in your cave. To reach your biggest goals and live the life you always wanted, you have to control and understand your brain and venture out of your comfort zone.

Discomfort is necessary to reach your goals. But, don’t get confused with the discomfort that is associated with beating yourself up. These are two very different types of discomfort.

One discomfort, the first one, is a good discomfort because it propels you forward and closer to your goal. This first discomfort makes you stronger, better, and more alive. It teaches you lessons so you can try again, correct the problem and propel forward.

The other discomfort associated with beating yourself up does the exact opposite. It holds you back. It keeps you stuck. And many times it moves you backwards. It serves no purpose.

Many times, my clients express feelings of managing the discomfort of getting through the divorce process. It’s not fun. In fact, it is often sad and difficult. My response to them is, “What is the alternative? To stay and tolerate and live your existence in a bad relationship?”

Whether you are in a divorce, starting a new career, learning a new sport, growing your business, or setting forth on any goal toward a better existence, if you aren’t putting yourself out there and feeling the pain, you are stuck.

Living in confusion, running around, acting busy, and indulging in negative emotion and stress is very uncomfortable. It doesn’t propel you forward and it doesn’t produce your highest level of work at the highest capacity.

The question then begs itself, how do you know if you are in discomfort that serves you or if you are in discomfort that doesn’t serve you? This is a very important question to ask of yourself, because the confusion between the two is the difference between success and failure long-term.

Short-term discomfort that serves you and is focused is always worth it.

Ask yourself:

Why am I feeling uncomfortable?
What is the reason for the discomfort?
Is this discomfort propelling me toward my goal?
Is this discomfort something that is anticipated to reach my goal?

Now, of course, the answer will always be a thought, because our thoughts always cause our feelings.

When you ask yourself, why am I experiencing discomfort, and the answer is, “Because I’m moving towards something I’m not familiar with,” “I’m trying something new,” “I’m putting myself out there,” or “I’m venturing outside of the cave,” then you know that you’re experiencing discomfort that will have a proper payoff. It will all be worth it.

My coach says that discomfort is the currency of your dreams. Set your goal, manage your mind, and move forward with massive action towards that end result and never quit.

Stay healthy in mind and body.

Doreen Yaffa
Board Certified Marital & Family Attorney, Life Coach

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