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Beginning to Find Clarity
In my message last week, I shared with you why you don’t have to leave your marriage from a place of anger AND the importance of slowing down to figure out what you truly want. The truth is, it’s not necessary to lie, cheat, or ambush your marriage in order to have an excuse to leave. Treating each other terribly to justify a divorce is not the answer and ends up hurting everyone, including yourself (and possibly your children.) Kindness and honesty allow for a smoother divorce process and one you can feel better about in the long run.
You also do not have to justify your decisions. Don’t get caught up in answering everyone else. If you make a decision to leave your marriage, you should be able to calmly and peacefully share with the people in your life when and how you choose to. Not sure you can do that? I get it. Many people are in a place of anger. Let me walk you through the process of beginning to find clarity.
Step one, slow down. Life is demanding a lot of you, but you need to slow down and find the time to examine your life. You own the pen to your paper. Step two, breath, meditate, spend time alone, and question yourself.
Most of my clients are in such a hurry to get over the pain. But the pain is in their control. It is their thoughts, and they can control this. Journal or jot down notes on the life you want to lead, the goals you want to achieve, and what you need to do to get there. Don’t be in a hurry to get out of pain. Pain and joy are a part of life. They go hand in hand. Experience the pain, plan for the future and slow down to do your work first. Then, with dignity and a clear mindset, design the life you want.
Need more help talking through how to slow down or exploring the options to get to the life you want? Join my workshop.
Wishing you an amazing week.
Doreen Yaffa
Board Certified Marital & Family Attorney, Life Coach
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