Yaffa Family Law Group
By: Doreen Yaffa

Monday Message: November 30, 2020


How Do You See Yourself?

Self-image is how you think and the way you see yourself. It’s not factual because no matter what you think about yourself, others see and have a completely different opinion about you.
It’s such a shame how much time we spend trying to manage how others see us. It really can become an obsession for many of us. The way we dress, the home we live in, the car we drive, the profession we have. Trying so hard to literally control another person’s opinion of us.
Sometimes we don’t even know we are doing it. For example, the other day I was buying pillows for my couch, the one I use more often than anyone else, and all I could think about was “Which ones would my mom or friend or children like?” and I stopped myself and thought “Wait, isn’t this exactly what I am speaking about this week? Do I really have to go out and buy pillows for someone else to like? What about I do what I like for myself?” While pillows are a silly example, it clearly shows how something trivial spills over into bigger self-image issues.
What if we used the same pillow mindset on other self-image thoughts like our bodies or minds? For example, if you like your body then why do we find ourselves on yet another diet to look a way we think others might find more acceptable?
It’s really fascinating to stop yourself and think about what your opinion is based on about yourself. Is it based on what other people will think about you? OR is it about other people’s opinions and pleasing them and not you? This has me wondering: maybe if I have a choice of disappointing myself or another, why would I put myself second? That’s a lesson likely worth considering.
What’s amazing about a positive self-image is that in order for you to choose to think positive thoughts about yourself, you have the ability to do that by controlling your thoughts. I don’t mean lying to yourself, but digging deeper to understand what you really think about yourself.
I don’t know what you think about yourself, but I know that it feels a certain way. It either feels amazing and awesome or it feels terrible, and truth be told that decision is yours and only yours to decide and carry forward.
Wishing you an amazing week.
Doreen Yaffa

Board Certified Marital & Family Attorney, Life Coach

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