Yaffa Family Law Group
By: Doreen Yaffa

Monday Message: September 4, 2020


Build Stronger Relationships Through Communication

I have a question for you, how are you? But really, how are you feeling?

“How are you?” is a surface question that we use in everyday life. Although it sounds very pleasant and lovely, it doesn’t build a bond nor intimacy in a relationship.

“How are you feeling?” makes the person who you are asking the question, stop for a moment and think about it.

I did this little experiment on my husband this morning. I said “Hey honey, how are you?”, and he looked at me and said, “I’m ok.” But there was something in his voice that made me want to dig a little deeper. So I said, “But, how are you feeling?” And, his response was, “I’m actually feeling a little overwhelmed today.” My second question prompted a very nice conversation between my husband and me.

A few examples you can use are:
Instead of “How was your day?” ask “What was the best part of your day?”
Instead of “How was your weekend?” ask, “What one thing did you do this weekend that reenergized you?”

If you want to build stronger more intimate relationships, think about your engagement, communication, and the questions that you ask. Take some time to listen to what the other person is saying and use questions that provoke answers that are going to give you more insights into who they are.

After you learn to do this with others, ask yourself the same question. Think about how are you feeling internally.

Let’s continue to build stronger relationships through communication.
Stay healthy in mind and body

Doreen Yaffa
Board Certified Marital & Family Attorney, Life Coach

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